Well that was an

eyefull for sure! The strip tease show! It was fully packed of course with screaming women including the seven of us from our year two class! No penises were exposed thank heavens and no one pressured me into having a drink before hand either.:-).So all in all a good night. The girls are all going dancing afterwards but I’ve come back home to my Grey’s Anatomy and hot chocolate before bed:-) Aaa:-). The show? It was okay. Flesh were exposed. Men griped and grind but it didn’t turn me on in the slightest. Maybe there is something wrong with me or the age of the men in the show. All I could think of was the way my Muse looked that day half naked in his trunks painting a farm machinery in his dad’s front garden. Now that. That just makes me want to rip the rest of his clothes off and turn up at his house at 3am with nothing but a dressing gown to show him just what kind of wild animal I could really be. Only he turns me on. Dear  lord I hope he just gives in one day to this wild chemistry between us and invite me over for steak and chips and a look around his green house:-) I’d really love to see his greenhouse:-):-):-)

My co worker invited me over for lunch today and another one dropped by in the afternoon:-). First time ever. But second anniversary of mum’s death and you know what?  I spend the day happy and I think she would have approved. I love you mum. And miss you dearly. Each and every day. Now excuse me while I go back to my hot chocolate and Grey’s Anatomy. I don’t want to miss a thing. And would you believe it’s still a big beautiful moon outside? :-)God bless you all from England:-).

I did absolutely nothing

today. Took the kids to school. Turned off my phone. Found my sofa and did absolutely nothing! My body was so shattered I thought yesterday’s migraine was going to return. But thank God it didn’t! I sank into that sofa like it was the last lifeboat on a sinking ship and closed my eyes all day. It felt positively beautifull! The silence. The softness. The shoulders relaxing. Pulse rate dropping. Eyelids drooping. Heaven indeed!

I’ve had the kids nonstop since boxing day so I know this storm was coming. Or brewing would be more like it. Work. Runs. Entertainment. Housework. Sometimes I forget there’s only one of me. But I survived. Triumphantly. And hopefully their dad will collect them as promise to give me a break this weekend. I’d like to see a few friends or lounge around in my pajamas all day. I’ve already warned the neighbour not to be alarmed if it does occur: me in pajamas past midday!:-):-):-)

Work is going well. I’m being trained up to do a few more clinics. And matron featured me in her monthly snippet magazine as well.

Tommorow will make two years to the date since mum passed away but I’m trying not to think about it too much. I’m meeting friends all day and the year two mums are having a night out on the town to see a strip show! I’ve been celibate five years now and it’s giving me panic attacks just thinking about the show tommorow night. I’m a god damn prude I am! What’s the flipping matter with me?!! Everyone’s going. It’s paid for. It’s called peer pressure and one mum is picking everyone up so no excuses. I have nothing against the show or people choosing to have a drink before they go.

It’s just that I had a look at their website online And it doesn’t do for me. The men are all soo fresh faced, young and muscled all over. I like mines fifty plus with silver at the temples. Laughter lines. Imperfections, weathered working hands with loads of wisdom and experience. I like alittle fat as well and someone tall and well built!:-):-) The first love of my life was 66. I was 18 at the time. We corresponded via letters and phonecalls.  Never laid eyes on each other. He was coming out to meet me. My mum got wind of it and that was that! He’s passed on now though:-( I still miss him sometimes and wonder what could have been.

I’ve taken my profile down before the end of my trial period. And also after arguing with the customer rep for about twenty minutes to do so! But you’re getting so much attention he rapped. You need to put your past behind you and start slowly again. But it’s just opening old wounds and giving me panic attacks I told him. I don’t want the damn attention. Anyone even remotely close to my town saying hi was instantly blocked. And then there were the ones who wanted a coffee and my number straight away or told me stories about how lonely and nonviolent they were. Nope. Take my profile down please. Even my exhusband with his girlfriend was upset. For what?!! I am no longer his possession. He didn’t even want me when he had me!

So that’s the end of my long tale. The short one is I’m getting a kitten for the kids and I. I’m also starting work on a new poetry book. As for the one I liked on the website I left him with my email address and the brutal truth that I was unrequitedly inlove with someone else but we could still be email pals if he liked. He’s not been in touch! Boy do I know how to scare them off or what?!! Just couldn’t make it up.

Until next time take care of yourself and each other. The moon and I whisper goodnight to you. Goodnight:-)0

I took a drive today…

down winding back country lanes with blazing yellow trees in front of me and miles of green farmland all around me. Boxes of apples propped up against people’s houses for free giveaway and brave cyclists in bright coloured colouring feeling the wind in their faces.

I took a drive today after a lazy morning’s sit in at my local garden centre  chatting over cups of coffee with a dear dear friend:-). Gawking over Christmas decorations and  ladies who came to lunch in lavender suits with red hats. All fourteen of them!:-):-):-)

I took a drive away with the sun in my face and a song in my heart and thought to myself’ what a wonderful world!’ aaaaa:-)  Hope you had a fab day too. From a beautiful starry sky somewhere in England (you won’t believe how starry it is outside tonight, absolutely gorgeous) have a good night. Bless you.