Sun in face….

Grass between toes. Cup of coffee in one hand. Good book in another. Open skies overhead. Gentle breeze all around. Aaaa. Now that’s what I call summertime fun reading:-)

Book at the moment: Louis the Well-Beloved by Jean Plaidy. I absolutely love historical novels. Fiction or nonfiction. My ideal dream would be a window seat in a room crammed with books and a view of the garden and birds feeding outside. Heaven truly would come down to earth:-)

Sometimes it’s a matter of

perspective: being able to see the joy and lighter side of everything no matter what one stresses one face at any given moment. Sometimes it pays to look on the brighter side of life and I mean it. I’m under alot of pressure and expectation from work at the moment while trying to keep a house and raise two beautiful young kids, one of whom has not been sleeping so well lately. My son’s birthday is coming up as well and he wants a small party with all of his close friends. Then there’s preparation to be made for back to school and sorting out the car to made it ready for the winter. it’s just come back from the garage and the engine light is on again. 

I sat on the sofa after work yesterday…the kids are at their dad for the weekend with a splitting headache and a pain in my chest for two hours and contemplatively reviewed my life as I would a strangers feeling guilt, pressure and sorry for myself while knowing that I do the best I can where possible with the resources I have. Yes maybe I’m guilty of taking on too much and that my career can and should wait until the kids are abit older. But I just wanted my kids to feel proud of me and to instill some strong work ethics in them as well from an early age. But I can’t do everything nor let it make me fold under now. I may have to park nursing for abit and try something like pastoral care in a school or hospital with hours to suit do that I’m not having a mini stroke everytime I’m asked to work past 6pm.

Life is too short and my kids are not going to be young forever. Even I not going to be young forever. I have to draw on the strenght and resources that I do have while maintaining my health, sanity and a perfect pathway to peace. I’ve seen the other way. I have friends who have gone that way…down a path of alcoholism and sex and drugs and depression and ask myself what good has that path done them? Theyre still stressed and not fundamentally happy. I’m sorry but no. I choose another way. I’ve always been fascinated with research and positive psychology and as I’ve only one life to live…I choose another way. I don’t care if shit is hitting the fan and life’s circumstances demand another response.. ultimately negative. I say no. I choose joy. I choose life. I choose peace. I choose love. I choose hope. I choose rest. Yes I may have to jiggle a few things around that may not suit everyone but I choose Christ and laughter and raising my kids beautifully whether i have help or not.

I choose simplicity and divinity and knowing that everything will work itself out in the end. I choose open skies and green fields and endless sunshine and things that fill with passion and purpose no matter how little. I choose the earth and the wind and the sea. I choose nature and books and trees and captivating sights that soothe and peace. I choose life and hope and deep breathing and hot coffee:-) and writing on this blog to remind me of all that little and big things that do bring me peace and lasting joy. God didn’t bring me though all the horrors of 2015 to crumble like a lily now. I set my priorities. I select my vision. I’ve made my choice.

I had a  good cry. Got up off the sofa and felt peace in my heart. I think my mum would have been proud of me. And I include this blog so that you can see my life is not all that easy or perfect no matter how light hearted my posts. But with so much negativity in the world with the pressures of expectations and conformity you don’t have to give in or surrender. Life will get you through if you surrender and have faith to the wider process. It is a most wonderful thing. Make a choice for peace.

 

 

 

 

Pancakes….

Sliced mangoes. Orange juice. Warm cuddles.

Then I’m taking my kids on a surprise water picnic with another mum on the grounds on a local Elizabethan manor:-). I think they’ll love it. We walked through the local market on Friday after dropping my car off at the garage and they were enthralled. O please can we come back with baskets to select our own fruit and vegetables next time they asked. Most certainly I replied:-) most certainly. Topped up with a late breakfast and a stroll down to feed the ducks in the meadows later it would make for a very lovely morning out:-). If I like a little adventure don’t see why they won’t:-). Have a blessed day too.